Marriage is supposed to be hard...

I know it's not a cakewalk. But shouldn't you be able to laugh at things together, rather than constantly butt heads? If you can't - and indeed, never - laugh together at anything, surely that is a sign that it's time to pack it in?
I have asked him to be less controlling and uptight, but I know people are who they are, this may be trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. And of course he points out that I am not accepting him for who HE is, but he is the one who is bound and determined to make this marriage work, while I am prepared to call it a day.
"But partners are supposed to make each other better," he argues.
Of course, I don't agree, and tell him I would take a self improvement course if I wanted to improve myself. I believe my partner is supposed to provide love and support for the flawed person I may be (flawed meaning I may keep a pile of papers in the corner of the counter rather than in the filing cabinet where I will surely forget their existence, not flawed in the serious drinking habit sense...), and stand behind the direction I decide I want to grow, rather than stand in my way at every turn.
A classic example is I have decided I enjoy reading more than watching television, so once the kids are in bed I crack open my book rather than sit beside him watching television. This has created a boatload of problems for him (I'm lonely! I can't talk to you when you read! Now we have no time to discuss things!) But it's hard to get any intellectual stimulation when you are unloading a dishwasher or chauffeuring children around to activities, so this has become my lifeline for my declining brain cells, as well as the way I want to relax every night, I tell him. It falls on deaf ears and he continues to moan every night.
How hard would it be to give in to this minuscule request?
And this, sadly, is typical of the tussles we have: the little things in life that I feel one way about, and he feels another, need to be debated at length at every turn. I am exhausted, and don't feel up to arguing any more than I feel like giving in to his request.